I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
