jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Holy shit dude........stairs
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
