it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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