So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
