8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
