the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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