i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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