So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
