i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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