the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize