Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
