I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
