My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We have started to decorate penises.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
