Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
