That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
i now understand why vodka
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
