I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
