So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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