I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I don't think brook has ever known best
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize