Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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