Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
