I hate your face
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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