I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
