dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
