My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
