Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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