is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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