So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
that is very illegal...i love you.
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