Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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