Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
