butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
