If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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