I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
