don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
