I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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