Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
