so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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