he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
