Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
from now on my penis is your penis
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
