Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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