i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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