You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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