Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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