on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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