playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
