If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
