you have to choose: penises or morals?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
