: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
