If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
