After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
