Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
When did we convert life to cartoon?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize