We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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