Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
