I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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