i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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