fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
