Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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