The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
