i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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