You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
