I'm gonna have a badass scar
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
