If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
