this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize