I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
