the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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