he shaved USA in his pubs
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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