i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
