I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
