I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
