but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
All I want is dick and wine.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize