she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
