If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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