Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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