drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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