I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
