I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
